Being a single parent isn’t easy. Not only does it require taking on many roles, it also means that all the stress, anxiety and worry fall on your shoulders rather than being distributed between you and a partner. When your child is living on the autism spectrum, daily activities can be overwhelming, which may cause you to suffer from depression or other mood disorders. According to a study at the University of North Carolina, single mothers of children with intellectual disabilities were found to be more vulnerable to severe depression than mothers living with a partner.
Be careful of sensory overload
In creating a comfortable environment for your child, you’ll need to think about their specific needs. Many children on the spectrum have trouble staying engaged in a room with too many colors or too much decor. Others are bothered by lights and sound. Start in your child’s room and work your way to the bathroom and common areas, and make sure they’re just the right spaces for your child to be comfortable in.
Find support
Giving your child everything they need to succeed and feel comfortable is a high priority, but you should also be thinking about your own mental and physical health. After all, you can hardly take adequate care of someone else when you’re not feeling good. Aside from eating a balanced diet, getting daily exercise and enough sleep, it’s imperative that you garner support from your friends and loved ones.
“Divorce and my daughter’s autism diagnosis came at the same time in my life, and I can honestly say I don’t know how I would have made it through without my family and friends,” writes single mom Lilly Jinkins. “I had to learn to reach out when I felt overwhelmed and be honest about my feelings.”
Eliminate stress
A happy home environment for a child on the autism spectrum not only addresses their physical and emotional needs, it’s also a place where stress and anxiety aren’t allowed to enter. Making an effort to eliminate stress in your life will help you stay calm and cool even when your day isn’t going as planned. As the primary caregiver, look for ways you can block stressful feelings or cope with them in healthy ways, such as practicing yoga or meditation.
Create a budget
One of the most stress-inducing aspects of any single parent’s life is their financial situation. It can be extremely difficult to learn how to make things work on one income just after a breakup or divorce, and if your child has medical bills that are piling up, you may be wondering how you’re going to get through the next month. Sit down—possibly with a knowledgeable family member or an accountant—and go over your finances. Work out a budget that you can stick to and get into the habit of smart spending (such as not overusing credit cards or opening new accounts).
As Autism Parenting Magazine notes, single parents everywhere face multiple challenges, and when your child has special needs it can seem like you’re doing everything alone. However, there are plenty of support groups for parents who need help. Go online to find one near you, or to find blogs by those who are going through a similar situation. Talk to other parents who know what you’re going through, and learn how they are creating their own best environments.
